Counting blessings

Great weekend! Friday Nick was off for Good Friday. His parents called and asked us if we wanted to go out for lunch with them. We said ok. They wanted lobster and wanted to go to Ruth Chris. I was in jean shorts with no makeup and we had the baby with us. I was looking pretty rough but his parents really wanted to go there. It was my first time there and it was good! Then Nick and I went shopping. We got him a new outfit and I found a dress. I then went to about twenty different shoe stores looking for shoes to match. I finally found some that killed my feet the second I put them on but I bought them anyway. It ended up looking cute and after I broke them in it wasn't too bad.

Grant was not impressed with Ruth Chris. lol

Saturday Nick and I dropped the baby off in Torbert and headed to a wedding in Natchez. We were barely out of his parents driveway when I was telling him to slow down. We had all day to get there. No sooner then I said that I heard cop sirens. I was pissed. It was definitly an "i told you so" moment. men and their lead feet!

We ended up making it to Natchez and went to the wedding at a plantation. It was so pretty and very elegant. I cheated and ate a piece of wedding cake which was delicious!!! We all ended up going out to a casino that night because there was nothing better to do in that town. Nick and I are not big fans of casinos so we were just sitting around waiting on everyon to decide on the next place to go. One of the bridesmaids from the wedding suggested that we go nd get a players card. If you are new to the casino they will give you money to play with for free. It costs one dollar to activate the card. We put our cards in and it wouldnt work. We sat and sat and Nick was ready to leave/ I went and asked what the problem was and they said the system was backed up and we would need to wait 15 minutes. So I made nick wait. Finally it works. Nick hits his little btton about four times and ding ding ding ding ding ding......... all of the little old ladies gather around. I jumped up and down like a fool. I just kept saying "I can't believe this!" He won $965 off of $1. Talk about the best dollar we ever spent! lol We gave a hundred to the couple who got married and decided to cash out and be done. It definitly made the trip so exciting.
I thought this sign was funny!

Needless to say, Nick paid for his ticket and the rest of the trip with his winnings.

Sunday we went to pick up potato baby. I was sad that we missed his first Easter morning. I staged a fake Easter morning later on that evening
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This week we have been off of school. I took the kids to the zoo and it was quite an adventure. Today I went to a dietitian and nurse educator. I felt like it was pretty productive. I learned some carb counting techniques and they talked to me about possibly getting an insulin pump one day down the line. It is nice to know that theyre may be some options for me. I fee lucky to ave such great nurses to work with. The dietitian told me that it's ok to be mad. And as fortunate as I know I am, I am still mad. I am trying to get through these feelings of anger. I also got a letter from a lady in my sister's prayer group who has had type 1 diabetes sinc the age of 7. It was one of the kindest things ever. This complete stranger sent me the sweetest words of advice. She said that this disease is not for the weak-minded, I must control it or it will control me. I know I can do it.

Tonight Jordin, Luke, Nick, mom, dad, Grant, and I went to the chimes. It was so fun to just hang out. It was my first attempt at carb counting and I think I did good! Once we wre home I was feeding the baby hen my mom called. I could tell in her voice that something was wrong. She said it was Jordin, she was in a wreck and her car was totaled. I practically threw the baby at Nick and rushed to the accident. She is fine. She hurt her wrist and her car is completely ruined but she was so lucky. There was a metal took box in her windshield on the drivers side and a brick on the passengers side. If it would have gone through the window God knows what would have happened. On the way home tonight we were talking about religion and some pretty deep things. This really made me stop and think that she probably had an angel with her tonight. I am so thankful that she and the other driver are ok. My heart felt like it stopped beating when I thought something horrible had happened. Moral of the story... don;t forget to spread the love, every day. Kiss your babies and tell the ones you love that you love them because the future is not promised to us. I love you, Jo!

Lastly, this is a little video from the other day when I had the kids over. I laugh every time I watch it. We had been at the zoo all day and everyone was tired.
At the zoo chillin!

Every day is a winding road

Today was the funeral. It was beautiful. The eulogy was very touching and made me feel like she was smiling down upon us all. The scripture readings were perfect, it was like they were written with her in mind. Her beautiful family was so strong and I admire their closeness. I will always smile when I think of her. I am so glad to have known her.

On a lighter note... Kali had her first softball game tonight. Got a hit every time she went up!Go girl! I am so proud of her!!

If

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Not the best of times

The past week has been one filled with tears and regret. The past few weeks I started to notice my vision was getting very blurry. At first, I just thought it was because I was tired or my hormones were going crazy. As it got worse I began to get nervous while driving. I decided to go see my friend, Luke, who is an Optometrist. I went to see him last Tuesday and he suggested that I check my glucose levels because he felt like that was what was wrong. That night I checked it and it kept measuring high. After about 3 times I got Nick to check his... it said 88. So I knew my meter was working. I then got online and looked up my meter to see what the high reading stood for. It meant that it was over 600. This was pretty alarming because I knew that 300 was dangerous. I called my sister (who I always call when I have a medical question). She told me that she thought I should go to the emergency room or an after hours clinic. I decided that if it had been going on for two weeks then one more night couldn't hurt and I would go to the doctor first thing the next morning. I went Wed. morning, the 13th, to Dr. Green. He met with me for a while and couldn't quite understand how my glucose went from being moderately high, on my last glucose tollerance test, to dangerously high now. He ran a bunch of bloodwork and said I needed to see an endocrinologist ASAP. It usually takes a few months to get in but they fit me in that afternoon. That afternoon I went to the Baton Rouge Clinic. I met with a nurse practitioner and a doctor. The NP talked to me for an hour-and-a-half. I was told that I have type 1 diabetes. For the rest of my life I will be insulin dependent. Every meal, snack, anything will be preceded by a shot of insulin. She set me up with an appt. to see a dietician and a nurse educator (again). She said they would not put me in the hospital because of my gestational diabetes. She knew I could give myself shots and test my sugar and felt that I could do it outpatient. Thank goodness! She was one of the sweetest nurses I have ever met. She explained that I must learn advanced carb counting. I cried many times through the appt. and she was extremely patient and understanding. It took about a day for it to seriously sink in. I cried almost the entire next day and felt so sorry for myself. I just kept thinking of all the scenerios in my lifetime where I will be forced to carry insulin around and give myself shots. How was it that me, a person who about a year ago would avoid shots at ALL costs, would now be forced to do it numerous times a day for the rest of my life. It is still hard for me to accept. When I had GD I knew there was a timeline. I was told over and over again that it would go away once I delivered Grant. And I thought it did. I now know that that was a time that they call "the honeymoon period" where your bady will still produce some amount of insulin. I asked her if there were any alternatives to the shots. No. Will I have to take a shot for EVERYTHING I eat? yes. Is it forever? yes. But I am doing it. And I will take care of myself as best as I can. One day at a time.

So, as I am in the midst of all this self-pittying I get the worst possible news anyone can get. My assistant principal, who I adored, lost her battle against cancer. She was diagnosed at the end of January. She fought hard and with so much grace. I have never witnessed so much courage in the face of something as nasty and destructive as cancer. She was an absolutely beautiful woman inside and out who taught me how to be a better teacher and person. She was known to keep everyone on their toes- very organized and driven. She never really took "no" for an answer and always sought a solution to a problem instead of wasting time complaining. I miss our talks that we had. Once she said that I reminded her of herself at my age which to me felt like a huge compliment. She was very intelligent and caring. I looked up to her so much. I can still picture her walking the halls with a huge smile on her face. It breaks my heart for her family and all of the people who loved her dearly, so many of us did. How can someone so full of life be taken so quickly? I will never forget her smile, positive attitude, and courage. She is my hero. It is because of her that I know if she could battle through cancer with her head held high, surely I can deal with this significantly smaller obstacle that I am facing. Please pray for her beautiful family. Heaven has a new angel.

Isn't it odd how death can put things in perspective? It sad that it takes something so horrible to remind me what matters most in life.

Carpe Diem.